is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
