but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
