I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
