Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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