I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
