I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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