I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
