Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
