SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
