Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
