I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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