I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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