If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
