Don't make out with my wife yet
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We need to rekindle our bromance
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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