Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
