alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
