Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
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Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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