He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
