I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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