just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
