Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
