You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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