How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
