Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
