are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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