no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
