So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My cat gives me a boner
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
