I am puke
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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