I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I believe in your delicious
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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