The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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