I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im six kinds of drunk right now
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
