I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
