Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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