can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
