Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
