What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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