That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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