Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
