Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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