Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
