Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
