What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
