I love black thongs
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
