What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
