i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
