Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
