I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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