may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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