Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
