Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I will pee on everything he values.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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