fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
