Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
