sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
