Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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