I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
