I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
