My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
