What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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