you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
