I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
