Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
