I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
