We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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