Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
