He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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