Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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